THE TROUBLE WITH MUFFINS
by Ballyuk
Summary: After the Vigilante Registration Act is repealed, the gang celebrate but Oliver ends up wishing he'd kept his mouth shut. Set during 10x13 (Beacon).


Author's Note: I do not own the characters.

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 **THE TROUBLE WITH MUFFINS.**

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"Hey, since we're all here, who's for tea and cake?" asked Lois, glancing to Chloe and Oliver in the living room, and Clark and Martha in the kitchen.

Since the two had declared their love for each other in the barn, Lois had moved back to the farm to live with Clark. They now shared Martha's old room and couldn't be happier. Once they'd got engaged, Lois found herself becoming more and more domesticated and immersed in the ways of rural life, even embracing plaid as regular day-to-day wear. The biggest change was that she had endeavoured to learn how to cook. She didn't want to become a 1950s housewife but she also knew they couldn't rely on takeout forever.

Lois' home-baked chocolate chip muffins were sitting on the kitchen counter but since everybody had been so wrapped up in whether or not the Vigilante Registration Act was going to be repealed, their interest was solely on the news broadcast and the impending announcement by the government, rather than the muffins on the counter. Hearts were beating fast, sweat was building on furrowed brows and nails were being chewed nervously as they waited and waited. And then it was announced that the act was going to be repealed, prompting jubilant scenes in the living room of the Kent farmhouse. Thanks to Lois and Chloe's viral counter-propaganda campaigning, there had been a late swing in the voting so heroes could go on protecting civilians while also protecting their anonymity. It was a huge victory.

Martha and Clark had had their private mother-son chat in the kitchen, and Oliver had thanked the two girls for their efforts. Even though his Green Arrow identity was already out in the open, he recognised the importance of keeping the so-called vigilantes away from the machinations of the political system. They should not be forced to kow-tow to the agendas of people in power, but instead remain as a beacon of hope for citizens.

The atmosphere in the house was now that of sheer relief, and Lois wanted to take the opportunity to showcase her recently developed baking skills. She wasn't quite sure why, but a few weeks earlier she had taken to baking as a way to handle the stress of her impending nuptials, the crisis over the VRA and her day-to-day job. Going for a jog around the fields hadn't helped clear her mind sufficiently like it used to. Seeing a couple of simple recipes on TV and following them methodically, she'd found baking to be an enjoyable and relaxing pastime, and one in which she was gaining more and more confidence. She didn't want to rely on ready mixes.

The tea had been brewed already and was sitting in the teapot beside the muffins. Lois had already taken out some china plates and tea cups. She began to serve everybody.

"Oh my god Mrs Kent, it's been so long since I've sampled your cooking, I forgot how great it was!" chirped Chloe through a mouthful of cake.

She had practically devoured half her cake before the others had made a start on theirs, with her little moans of satisfaction causing Oliver to take sidelong glances at her while wishing for an encore a little later. That would not involve cake, although he was not averse to using a little whipped cream. He cleared his throat.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I hope you have some more left over."

Martha held her cup of tea in her hand, smiling at the guests in the room. Hell, they were not guests, they were practically family. They'd all been through so much together and had come out the other side stronger for it. All those years of sacrifice, all that toil, but it was worth it to see the smiles on all those young faces. It gave her hope for the future and it made the house feel like a home once again. Martha had always loved to make sure people were well fed, and a part of her was always thrilled to receive compliments on how good her food was. On this occasion, she couldn't claim the credit.

"I wish I could take the credit, Oliver," she explained, "but I'm afraid I had nothing to do with it."

"Oh, in that case, you need to give me the name of the store 'cause these are really yummy!" opined Chloe through another mouthful.

Martha turned to look over at Lois with a 'you see!' expression, confirming that the muffins were indeed as good as she herself had claimed when she'd first tried them. When offering Martha one shortly after baking them, Lois had thought Martha was simply being nice in applauding her for making an effort, despite Martha insisting she was genuinely impressed. Lois became all self-conscious, wrapping her arms around herself. Chloe saw the exchange and immediately realised what was silently being said between them.

" _You_ made these?" Chloe could barely keep the incredulity out of her voice as she stared at Lois.

"Yeah."

"Wow cuz, maybe you should think about starting a little sideline."

Lois smiled at the compliment as Chloe would usually go out of her way to avoid anything cooked by Lois, having become overly familiar with food that was both burnt _and_ raw. The avoidance excuses had become more and more ridiculous when the two of them lived together, with Chloe claiming to be trying out new-fangled diets, or having had three breakfasts already, or that certain food groups should only be eaten on certain days of the week, or that her sense of smell had gone, thus putting her off food. Anything to avoid gagging or the risk of food poisoning.

"Well Lois, your muffins are amazing. Just the right size, firm yet really soft. I wouldn't mind taking 'em home to enjoy again later," announced a grinning Oliver to no-one in particular.

The room went deathly quiet. If there had been a record playing in the corner, it was just the right moment for it to scratch to a stop. The grin faded as Oliver glanced up, feeling that all eyes were on him. Not following, he asked, "What?"

He took in each face in turn. Chloe was sat beside him, eyebrows raised as if questioning him. She seemed almost amused. Martha was sat to Chloe's right and had leaned forward to peer over to him. She had the beginnings of a grin forming and eyes that appeared to be questioning him. Clark was sat in the easy chair with Lois perched on the armrest beside him. Clark's expression was inscrutable but Lois was smirking away. Suddenly uncomfortable, Oliver went through in his mind everything he had said and done in the last few seconds.

Done? All he had done was eat cake and sip tea. Said? He had simply complimented Lois on how nice her baking was. _Nothing wrong in that, right?_

Slowly but surely, his words began to echo in his brain. Lois' amazing muffins. Right size. Nice and soft. Take them home. Enjoy them later. The cogs began to whir as he sought to understand the meaning behind those words. Then it gradually dawned on him as the pieces of the puzzle slotted into place. His eyes went wide.

Catching everyone still staring at him, Oliver felt like his collar was getting tighter. His seat cushion began to feel itchy, making him squirm, and the room felt like it was getting warmer, making him sweat. _What the hell did I just say?!_ Sensing that an explanation was in order, he fumbled for the words.

"Uh…I…what I mean is…I really like Lois' muffins. No, not muffins! Uh… _cake!_ Yeah…I really like your _cake_ Lois."

He cleared his throat hoping to relieve the sudden dryness before carrying on. He was now adding hand gestures to try and get his point across better. Unfortunately, his circular hand movements only reiterated what he had inadvertently blurted out because he was directly facing Lois. It didn't matter though. He was really floundering and there was no comeback. He closed his eyes and shrunk back in his seat, praying that the others would go easy on him. No chance with the bloodhound Lois on his case.

"Aww, is the jolly green archer turning red?" she replied in her best Jessica Rabbit impersonation, all seductive honeyed tones.

Almost instantly, Oliver's face turned beetroot, making his hair look blonder. He could feel the heat envelop his face and the sweat cascade down his brow. The ground wasn't likely to open up and swallow him any time soon. How he wished for Clark's super-speeding ability to high-tail it out of there. He looked at his watch and made his excuses.

"Oh would you look at the time. I've got something at the office that I need to take care of."

"Are you sure my muffins can't tempt you to stay?" Lois continued to tease as Jessica Rabbit. She was having too much fun with this and the others were enjoying the exchange. It wasn't very often that the suave and charming Oliver Queen could be reduced to a stuttering schoolboy.

"N-no, thank you," he replied, grimacing at what she'd reduced him to. There was once a time when he would have revelled in her playfulness but she wasn't his girl anymore. He put his knuckle to his lips in an attempt to regain some composure and took a deep breath, standing up and hoping the sudden change would let him take back control of the situation. _Be cool, man, be cool_. Fighting back with a little flirty comment of his own would help. At the very least it would reduce his body temperature.

"As tempting as that offer is, I have some calls to make from the office now that the decision has gone in our favour. We've always maintained that we're the good guys, now it's up to us to prove it."

Taking each face in turn once more, Clark was nodding in agreement as was Martha. Lois had narrowed her eyes, aware that he had fended her off well. Chloe was gazing at him with admiration. She clearly wanted to do more than admire him later tonight.

"You guys gonna stay and hang out here?" he asked.

"Actually, I was thinking we should head to Watchtower and get it rebooted. I've been stuck with analogue for so long, it's like going cold turkey. Using a com-sat and virtual display will get some feeling back into these fingers," said Chloe, flexing her fingers to emphasise the point.

So that's what happened. Oliver left to take care of his errand at LuthorCorp while the rest prepared to head over to the bosom of the Justice League to remove the dust sheets and get the home team's headquarters operational once more. Martha was due back in Washington the following day so wouldn't be spending the night. She had already arranged for her driver to pick her up late in the evening to take her to the airport. She would be on the red-eye.

As they stepped out onto the porch, Lois took Clark's hand, causing him to stop and turn around curious. She leaned in close and whispered out of earshot of Chloe, with the same sultry Jessica Rabbit voice.

"Hey, just so you know, I've saved a couple of muffins for you later."

She smiled brightly and winked, releasing his hand and catching up with Chloe as they made their way to her car. Clark was rooted to the spot red-faced and open mouthed as he watched her jauntily step away, but inside he was doing a jig of delight. He would make sure he enjoyed those muffins tonight. After all, they _were_ the best in town.

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 **FIN.**


End file.
